For 7 months, I have been single and really had lots of “me” time. Almost all of my breakups, it would take me time to get through totally. I always have this fear of detachment, the feeling of learning to live without that person. Well that’s life, people come and go…and people pursue you, then just leave you hanging.

Sometimes it’s just hard to find someone to entrust yourself to. Especially when you have failed so many times before. There have been people hoping of having a chance with me, but really, I don’t wanna end up with the crying face again. 

Until I have opened myself again to  a new commitment, thinking I’d be happy this time, and hoping now I didn’t make a huge mistake. Yes I had doubts about him before, since I have this impression of him as a “player”. 

It has been 2 months now, yet hard times are just around, bound to happen anytime. I know i took this risk, because I saw something in him which made me want to be with him. He too admitted that he saw me as not for the serious type, but ask my friends, they know me well when I’m inlove. Coz they call me as the most serious one once I get into a relationship. I simply do everything for the person, that in the end, it won’t be my loss but theirs :p 

During my single times, you won’t be seeing me at home on a Friday and Saturday night, I’m out enjoying my life with no strings attached. But now it’s totally different. I made a compromise of bringing back that ‘good-when-committed’ idea. I’m not sure if it’s lame, but I just woke up one morning, deciding to do so. And there’s this person who has been very open with his feelings for me, and I simply told him not to text or call me anymore because it’s not proper anymore. He was sad about it, but I had to do it  

Now I’m just wishing that everything that I ‘m doing for him would be paid off. I just get upset at times because I feel he doesn’t appreciate me at all. I know I love too much, but I also have to learn not to be too attached.

I just hope he sees the good in me, and realizes how I really want to make things work between me and him.

Today’s advice: Give more than what is expected.

I don’t usually go for facebook applications that much. But since there are times when we get curious and would want to know what’s in store, I took one click for today. It kind of struck me and I thought of giving a simple comment. Well currently, I know I have been giving even far more than what is expected since day one (no need to be more detailed). It’s pretty disappointing when you feel that you deserve more and it’s quite frustrating even when you already think of the word “unfair”. I actually don’t want to sound ungrateful or never-been-satisfied but it’s just something I have been realizing lately. I had a conversation with a friend yesterday that he gave me this point: “Be practical. Just equal what you have been receiving to what you will be giving”. Until now I would always look back to what he said. But whatever this may turn into, I’d try to always have a positive outlook. I’m always very open to explanations, I’m always willing to understand. Enough of that, I know I’m happy.

Listened to this last night and gave me a smile:

I’d really want to be anywhere but here…
work-stress. 9-hour-shift. less hours of sleep. poor social life. less appetite. heavy rain. flood. traffic. lots of arguments. sudden tears. lack of understanding.
…argh! just f*ckn overloaded!   I think all I need is some peace, rest and some quality time..

A favorite quote from a favorite movie If only:

“I have to tell you this and you need to hear it. I loved you since I met you, but I wouldn’t allow myself to truly feel it until today. I was always thinking ahead, making decisions soaked with fear… Today, because of you… what I learned from you; every choice I made was different and my life has completely changed… and I’ve learned that if you do that, then you’re living your life fully… it doesn’t matter if you have five minutes or fifty years. Samantha if not for today, if not for you I would never have known love at all… So thank you for being the person who taught me to love… and to be loved.”

 

Emotionally and mentally burnt out. Thanks for the long weekend that I finally got peaceful nights (though some were sleepless). I just feel like staying at home today and enjoy my last stress-free day. Really, I’m too lazy to go to work tomorrow. Thank God I won’t be waking up early on a Monday. Just 4 more days before weekend strikes again. But honestly, work is not just the source of stress, there are other things too. And lately I really don’t feel light and at ease. A lot of things play through my mind. Can somebody give me 10 good reasons why I shouldn’t be this paranoid and frustrated? Sometimes I just suddenly feel tired, that I’m thinking it’s better to just keep that silence in you. Because it will only become worse when you know that he can hear me, but doesn’t understand at all….. *sigh*

April 25-26, UPS Summer outing in Eaglepoint Resort – Anilao, Batangas.

 

 

 

 

The road to the resort couldn’t get any steeper (wohoo!),but the experience couldn’t get any happier J

 

I believe this was a last minute getaway before the summer finally ends. It was such a great way of ending the week after how many days of stress at work. Although not all of us were able to go, we still had a fun overnight stay anyway. We first went to Sepoc(?) Island to have our lunch. It was a 20-minute boat ride going to the island but it was worth it since we were able to amuse ourselves by playing sharades.lol! (movie titles – Jologs, La vida rosa, Flor Contemplacion, haha!). Oh well, we enjoyed the sumptuous lunch, the huge shaft, the kayak, the trekking, and the jump shots JToo sad we had to go back to the resort before night falls. So we got back to the resort and freshened up before eating dinner. While waiting for dinner,Rev, Aleks and I just spent our time doing crazy stuff and we never got tired of laughing about everything. (Dexter??) lol! After the dinner, we had our videoke session which turned out like a homeowner?s association meeting.(see picture below)hahaha! We had a few (a few??really?) drinks too that night…and the rest is history.lol! The following day, which is our last day was for pictures pictures and more pictures before we sadly go back to Manila where reality awaits us. lol!

 

Pictures:
More pictures here -> UPS Summer Outing
 

 

2o-minute boat ride to Sepoc island

lulubog na.hahaha!

 

with roommates Aleks and Rev

 

eto na ang Homeowner’s meeting, hahaha! 

 

feeling umaandar.haha!

 

 

 GEMS team

 

nice jumpshot.

 

sa mahiwagang bato!

 

It has been a month and days now since you‘ve been gone. The pain somehow subsided but the tears that I would be shedding for you ain‘t stopping. I dream of you almost every night and I swear I didn’t want to wake up. They all seemed so true but the moment I open my eyes, reality turns up telling me it was all just a fantasy. That’s when I feel really frustrated and sad with tears telling me how much I miss you. Until now I can’t believe that I have gone through such hardships and still managing to survive. I then recognize the struggle that my dad went through when we lost our mom. Yes I am better now compared to what I have been during the first days, but when I remember everything that happened, it all just flashes back in my mind making it all fresh again. February 19, 2009 – your 40th day. I went to the church after work and lit a red candle for you. I was telling you and myself that those were the hardest 40 days of my life. Coping up with the loss and convincing myself to move on. Maybe I have moved on, except for the fact that something could have been done to prevent it. But above it all, it already happened. As the saying goes, the damage has been done. That sadly, it’s inevitable. I admit that I felt so alone. I have my family and some friends who made me feel that they were there. But at the end of the day, it’s just me. Just me withstanding the sorrow and seclusion. Upon facing each day, I always talk to God to take care of you now that you’re together. Days after your interment, I came back here in Manila and tried to live a normal life. On the first days of work (without you), I have been flooding your mailbox with emails. I didn’t know what to do during those times, those times when I didn’t have enough strength to accept your demise. So I thought that writing them all to you would greatly help. So I started sending you emails enclosing all the things left unsaid. That was my way of easing out the pain and letting it all out. The only way I know where I could make you happier even though you’re not here. I wish He allowed you to read all those letters. Those messages containing what I truly felt, those messages containing what I planned to tell you day after day, those messages containing all my love and that I’ll always remember you Detto.

The day I got my notice for my first project, I couldn’t explain how I felt. I partly felt sad because I would be leaving some of my training mates. I partly felt happy because I would be meeting new people to work with. On my first day in the project, I was still quite shy and hesitant to mingle even though I saw that they were nice people. I have first undergone their New Joiners training to be extensively familiar with the kind of tasks to be assigned to me. But a few days after, I was diagnosed of having dengue fever and was hospitalized. Well that’s where I felt so accepted by them. My teammates were so worried about me especially Ms. Mylene, my supervisor, who never failed to text me asking of my everyday condition. Then they sent me a huge basket of fruits which flattered me most (haha). Well the following days went well and there I found a new circle of friends. I am just so lucky being designated to a project where the people are very approachable and responsive which made the learning process convenient. Since it was my first project, I saw how the reality was and probably it was also my first time see such hardworking people having 10:00 pm as their regular time of going home. I had fun working with the Meta people particularly my CSF team – Mylene, Thitho, Ernzt, Ron, Lizel and Albert. It was only a 3-month assignment but I never thought that leaving the project would cause me tears (hehe). I hope the next people I’d be working with would be as nice, fun and welcoming as you are. And given the chance to choose a project, I’d definitely opt Metavante again for sure.

At this point of my life, an incident occurred which is beyond my understanding. But I know God doesn’t send us into battles which we cannot conquer. He is the only one who sees everything – the whole picture of our lives. We are here in this world to face whatever test would arise and whatever situation we’ll be put into. Anything that’s happening in the present, we should make the most out of it, because only God knows what might happen in the future. Maybe God sent you to me to make me happier, just like an angel. But He has taken you away from me….probably because of his other plans for the both of us…probably because you have already fulfilled your purpose. Slowly I am agreeing to what our fate really is for I know you’ll be more content seeing a smile on my face. I promise I can get through this. Besides, you’re not totally gone…You may not be present physically, but I’m very certain that you’ll always remain here…deep within me. I miss you Detto, my everyday has been so different now.

I can’t explain how I feel right now – that the day after tomorrow, I won’t be able to see you any longer. I’d be going back to Manila having an empty space within me. Each day that I wake up, I’m slowly feeling the loss. It’s so hard to imagine my everyday life not being able to see you nor talk to you. A lot of people say that I have to be strong for myself and that will happen in time. Gradually, I will come into my senses and finally beat all of this pain and agony. A lot of people say that I have to move on but it’s easier said than done. I’m aware that no one can help myself except me. I’m just praying for all of this grieving to be over…because I think it would take a lot of time before I’d get to manage this sadness.

I just hate this feeling of badly missing someone. I’m totally scared of what my tomorrows will be…scared that I would be facing everyday longing for you…and remembering those days when I still had you. When the time comes that I have finally moved on, I know I have moved on with the fact that you are indeed gone, but I assure you that you will never be forgotten…

….your smile, our laughters, your voice…

all of those I will miss..

especially that Detto who would always tell me “You’ll always be beautiful in my eyes”…and as for you, “You’ll always have a special place in my heart”…

I guess this is really goodbye…that life must go on for me…I have said this a lot of times, but I’ll always be missing you Detto…

‘Til we meet again…

-Sesi

Ange - Detto

Me and Detto

“until i found the person who had been put in this world to find me..”

- The Zahir, Paulo Coelho

Whenever we experience joy in our life, it is best to embrace it given the fact that it might end one day. During difficult situations, we can’t help but question why do we have to go through it. People come in our lives because of certain purposes, as well as unpredicted things happen because of certain reasons. But as they say, don’t expect permanency in this world, anything given to us can be taken back anytime…And what’s sad is, at the time that we least expected it.

This is for the person who has given me another meaning of how it is to be truly loved…for the person who was there when I felt distressed…for the person who never failed to show he cares…for the person who has been the kindest to me…for the person who’s very special to me – Detto. ‘Til now I’m finding it so hard picturing tomorrow knowing that you won’t be there anymore. But I know in time, this hurt, this pain that I’m feeling will slowly heal. Right now, there’s just one question that keeps on recurring in my mind – Why did you have to leave this soon? We had plans and we were looking forward to so many things. Why now? It’s just sad that now we won’t be able to go to those places we talked about, see those movies we long waited for, and what hits me the most is the fact that we won’t be able to be together anymore

Well God is still good that he allowed us to share good memories of each other…that in the duration of being with you, I experienced contentment and saw happiness (we both know that). Just the thought of losing you this sudden anticipates a difficulty on me to move on. Especially with so many things which reminds me of you that just keeps on lingering – at work and at home. I wouldn’t forget the time when we watched that horror movie and you were so happy because it was the first time you watched a horror movie with someone who’s more coward than you, when at the end of everyday you’d tell me how I made your day “Masaya nnaman ako, nakita ko smile mo”, that time when you acted like a kid & lost your temper because we missed the fireworks, the times when we sing those bitter and gangster songs(haha!) like two crazy people, and our bonding times with Taren in Tugue during the Christmas break.

Those were just some of the unforgettable ones out of the thousand happenings that occurred. But there’s one day I’d be considering as the most memorable one – Friday January 9, 2009. I could clearly say that we were at our happiest vibes that night. At around 5:45, he picked me up here in the office since we had a plan of catching up a movie after eating dinner. We ate at a Japanese restaurant (his fave) instead of choosing an Italian restaurant (my fave). After dinner, we watched Transporter 3 (his choice) instead of watching Bedtime stories (my choice). So everything was in favor of him and I was glad seeing him happy that night. Soon as the movie was over, we both decided to go home and have our rest. So on our way home, he all of a sudden parked at a near gas station, looked at me and said “pa-hug naman”. I was a bit surprised but without any word, I gave him the sweetest hug that day – not knowing it would be the last =(. When I got home, I noticed that my handkerchief is gone (for the nth time). I sent him a message telling him that I must have left it is his car and he replied “Don’t worry, bibigay ko sayo yung isang box ko ng panyo para magamit mo Ü”- not knowing that I’d be using it for him. *sigh*

Oh well, you just don’t know how badly I’m missing you right now. I never thought that it would be this difficult to accept things as they happen. I’m glad I have my friends and my family to give me encouragement. And one message from my father really lightened up my feeling – “God has other plans for both of you, it’s just that it’s not for both of you to be together for a longer period of time. Just cherish the short memories together and start moving on. I know life is short and enjoy it but with a lot of care and precautions. We all live once only so we take care of it. Life is God’s gift to us and it’s beautiful. Hiram lang buhay natin kaya ingatan natin, because anytime pwede bawiin sa atin, it’s not ours to keep remember that always”.

I’m sorry because I know you never want to see me this sad, but you can’t blame me. For crying in the morning remembering the “wake up” messages, for crying at night remembering the “goodnight” calls and messages, and for crying in the middle of the day remembering the love we once had. What we had was something special that only the two of us can understand. I may not have the chance to tell you all of this, but thank you for being a part of my life. You may be naughty at times, but you are a good person. You have lived a good life and now that you are with Him, you deserve to be at peace.

Just when I have found the person who’s willing to love me exceptionally, he was easily taken away from me and is now gone forever.

I will be missing you always Detto…

-Sesi

December 27, 2008 – Our Highschool Reunion at Gef’s Place here in Tuguegarao (our hometown). The party is exclusively for 4 St. Paul batch 2004, but some close friends were present as well. Hmm..I left Manila last Friday and arrived here in Tugue the next day. Well I’m currently staying here at my friend’s house (Taren) since I didn’t want to be alone at our own house, lol! Then I’ll be leaving here on the 30th to celebrate New Year’s eve with my family in Manila. Oh well, I’m currently enjoying my stay here in our province – laughtrip with Tah, kulitan with Detto, bonding with my girls, reminisce with old friends, and eat a lot of pansit *yum*.  Anyway..going back to the party, I must say it was such a great experience especially seing my former classmates after how many years. So many things changed ofcourse…but we’re still that same old class who shared so many unforgettable memories back then. Well I’m looking forward to many more reunions in the future, ’til next time guys,mwah!

Ryan’s debut party held in Quattro Bar Timog Ave – I arrived late but ironically I was just on time for the celebration’s start (thanks to the filipino time). The night was full of surprises that finally we had some bonding moments with Tah (totally missed you). Isn’t it great that the way we laughed before is exactly how we did that night? So sad that the night ended so soon, but at least we had the fun talks and crazy attitude (the usual,lol!) And oh, some grade school buddies were present there as well. The party, the drinks, the silly teases, the get-together….all made my night

More pics here

October 10, 2008 – Last day in HSP.
It was just months ago when I’ve written a post about our last day in the Bootcamp training. Now we’re through with the HSP, It feels great having accomplished all of those. It was indeed a very happy experience, thanks to my teammates (the best!) and of course our team leads. Some pics are posted below.

More pics here:

HSP 1
HSP 2

HSP

our team

August 28, 2008 – Our last day in our bootcamp training for cobol mainframe. It was a day of fun with lots of food,haha! The day ended so well but I’ll definitely miss our old mentors…especially the barney laugh…and the ‘hello?’ and the popsicle ice cream in the middle of a cold room,haha! So yesterday (Friday) was our first day in HSP (our second training). Shocking and so intense,haha! Hmm..I wish us all goodluck, it’s great that we would all still be on the same group (simply the best). We will be more haggard than ever, but just keep the happy days coming Ü

Some pics :

last day in bootcamp training

Since my last post was a month ago, I pretty much have a load of happenings to share. Setting off with the details, work-related stuff is the highlight. Oh well, time just passes so discreetly that tomorrow is already my first month with Accenture. It only seemed like yesterday when I had my new joiner orientation. Undergoing the training as the initial pace didn’t give me much of a worry. Since just like me, all of my colleagues would be a cluster of fresh grads as well. So I presumed that we would be on the adjustment period altogether.

Things went well but the increasing workload is very inevitable. The training seriously demands so much effort, time and sweat. In line with this, I have experienced staying in the office until 9 o’clock in the evening. Well it’s not much of a big issue for me, but upon arriving here at home, all I can do is eat and then sleep. What’s sad is that I have to wake up the next day as early as 5 o’clock in the morning, have my bath, cook my breakfast and ride the hazardous (lol) MRT with all the undisciplined passengers surrounding me. Tsk..Never a day goes by that the MRT haven’t been the source of my irritation just at the start of my day. Coz sadly, I have no other idea for my mode of transpo. since it is the fastest way I know plus my office is just infront of the Boni ave. station (so, do I have any other choice left?).

I guess the cool part in the middle of these whining up (about workload,etc) is that I have found friends in my colleagues with whom I am able to feel that work and enjoyment can be tied up. Well maybe because we’re of the same generation that our ideas and interests meet. I must say that I have never been this tired and hectic in my life, but what goes along with this is that I never thought that this job will be this enjoyable.

Hmm..extending this work and life balance point, I have realized what a lot of people tell me that my adulthood will be very much emphasized and felt now. I have to agree with that because really, I am into a great pleasure especially with my social life. I am able to spend more time with my friends and the constraints are far lesser compared when I was still in College. I guess I am just taking life as it is right now, and am embracing the one-shot phase of being this youthful, exciting and most importantly inlove ofcourse. Just the bottom line of everything is that work and life are simultaneous events that should go hand-in-hand. Don’t be stucked up with all those work torments and notice that you have a so-called life to live and that none of it will happen the similar way again. Remember that you can be down but smiling and tired but inspired all at the same time. =)

Additional details:

lifetime friends

fun!

Met up with my best friends just this week and it was a long-awaited get together. Finally after how many months of being busy with individual engagements (especially me), our schedules came across. Oh well, nothing’s changed between us, we’re still the same old folks…demurely crazy and outrageous (lol!). And just like the old times, we never failed sharing stories, gossips and gags! Of course not overlooking the hilarity, we just laughed and laughed about everything we could laugh about. I must say it was a lot of fun, that it has been quite a while since we had instances like this. It was a perfect coping up for all the missed times

Anj, Gilian and me

It’s 4:00 in the afternoon, I’m sick and I’m working. I just hope for a fine weather soon as I get out of this office later even though I know that today is another gloomy day at work. Oh well, I just don’t wanna be caught up in the middle of the hard and freezing rain again this time which is the reason why I unexpectedly and annoyingly got sick today. I’m totally not into my wits today, it seems like I can’t function that fine. Hopefully I would be all okay by tomorrow since we are on a scheduled meeting at 9:30 in the morning when my senses are still exhausted from the heavy traffic and the busy streets on my way here. Plus I have a presentation for our Cinema Movie Card project which I wish the Marketing people and KHG would approve of (haha!). By the way, on Friday night would be our opening for the Sportsfest and to my surprise that everyone is obliged to wear rubber shoes whether you’d be playing or not. That fact served as a shocker to me since I’m not the type of girl would wear rubber shoes coupled with a pair of jeans. Hmm, I just have to comply with what’s being required, besides, it may work for me too (lol!).I guess tomorrow and Friday’s gonna be long days for me. And I don’t wish the weekdays to be over since I’m not looking forward to this weekend’s approach.

Being placed on a new setting would usually take me a few weeks before I could finally set myself off the hook. The adjustment time I assume would be very gradual as always. For I can’t be that easily at eased with people whom I only got to deal with just a short period of time. But I guess those things don’t apply to every situation that we’re placed into. It’s just that the adaptation is greatly dependent on the people who surround you. I’m saying all f this maybe for the reason that I’m already being on the comfy side with my colleagues at work. I wouldn’t single out anyone because generally, they are people (all of them) who are not hard to approach and are definitely not hard to get-along with. And since I’m the youngest one in the group, they’ve treated me very nicely since day one. Also, it’s strange that they’ve gotten the wrong impression on me. For initially, they thought I was a snob…probably like the laidback type. But on the proof plus for the people who know me well, am I introverted? haha! Now it’s different because slowly I’ve been hearing funny comments on me: Joshua :“Si Angge, first time magsalita, pang-asar pa”, Kuya Bert: “Nag-iiba na si Angge, di na tahimik”, Matt: “Hindi na sya Angel,hehe”, Psyche: “Nagkukunwari lang yan nung una” (haha). Oh well, now that they know me, I guess I won’t be judged wrongly anymore,hehe! It’s just great that I have found not only acquaintances but new friends in them and that in between work pressures and hassles, we still manage to enjoy things (and eat a lot,haha!).

On career life
Okay, the “career” word seemed obviously unusual to state. Just recently, I’ve started working to finally set off my IT profession. Clearly, this is my first real job because the OJT days were sort of to-do-just-for-the-sake thing. Being a novice, I felt anxious not just for the fact that I would be dealing with unfamiliar people but also because it was in a normal level to be feeling that way. Of course, being the new one in the group, the initiative of socializing should come from me too. But prior to that, having a sensitive feel of the working environment must undergo. The fact that I would be assigned under the IT group of the company, it’s given that most of my colleagues would be men. And that detail was supported as I finally arrived at my work place (truly we were only a very very few women in the group). So the introduction took place, which was coupled with some sensing of the crowd. Talking about first impression, everyone was so nice and accommodating (lucky me). Just like in an ordinary setting, they were people of different sorts – basically, the witty ones and the serious ones. As of my supervisor, superficially he seems to be the unsmiling, but he’s a really kind one (plus hearing good views on him). It appears that was a good start for me, and I wish for it to continue as in present condition. As I’m on my 6th day (haha), everything goes out very well. All the way, being grateful for such nice people around me. Hopefully my succeeding posts regarding this would have some consistency (fingers-crossed). Just as I am beginning to build a rapport between my coworkers, I must say that I’m enjoying and I like it there (so far, lol).

On social life
It’s been a while since I’ve been with my best friends. And I sure miss them a lot. I’m really trying to find time on having some unwinding and hilarious moments with them. Those times when we eat, and then have a few drinks, then we start laughing about things of all varieties, and (to close the gathering) lastly we begin to feel all emotions and just cry. It’s really funny.=) One of these days, those missed times would occur again. As of my college friends, updates are rare as of the moment. Maybe because some are pre-occupied with their workloads and with their vacation. I guess that’s how it is after you finally get to graduate. Considering that a new phase of your life has opened, new people also turn up. But certainly, friends will always be friends. They are the ones whom you can call at any time, at any circumstance when you are in need of some loosening-up in the middle of your stressing life.hehe =)

On love life
I don’t wanna be all mushy and stuff. Hmm, I just can’t take this smile off my face. Since we’ll be on our first year this coming Friday (aww, haha!). Unexplainably, I’m really happy. So I guess no need to expand on this since words aren’t enough (or am I just sleepy already? hehe). But seriously, I just can’t wait. Only a few sleeps away from that oh-so-special day. In that span of one year while going through the point of knowing each other really well, I realized how we have persisted. I’ve seen that amid all the differences and disparity, we manage to talk things over and end up laughing about certain issues. No need for major changes, I’m pleased on how things are. For how we are made us grow and realize so many things. It’s just that time passes so swiftly that one day you just met and then the next day you’re stucked I mean (hehe) sticked to each other. And this is the reason why the summer season has been my most-awaited time of year. So many reasons to smile, so many reasons to be happy, and so many things to be thankful for. I’m just totally and completely in high spirits (weee!) =)

I don’t want to be your whole life…I just want to be your favorite part of it…

when you tend to forget about me at times, just remember that No One can love you the way I do…
the way I’ll always will…

and when things turn out right again, just take a few steps behind where you are and there you’ll still find me…where I just remained supporting your back…where I just remained living up with your shortcomings…and where I’ll evermore stay…

I better share pictures of recent events because apparently this site seems to be quite dreary without some visual details. So now I thought of imparting a bit of the highlight of my April month

A handshake with our very cute dean *hehe*

from left – me, Cia, Jud, Mads, Almie, Anne, Jen, Jaymee

A photo with the proud father *hehe*

Paula, Angge, Klang (btw, who’s the eldest?hehe!)

With kuya Jay. Thanks kuya for the nice pictures!

Ofcourse, ending it with a family picture.

It’s just a brief post. They were plainly pictures, with me all over them (oh well, it’s my blog anyway, do you have any choice?:p) Anyhow, if you feel like commenting on any of the publicized photos, just leave some. xoxo

A link to the post – http://ayem2008.blogspot.com/

I’m really really sick right now (hopefully just because of over-fatigue) and luckily I’m still capable of creating this piece of writing. Maybe because I have a lot of thoughts in mind that I want to be recounted. And I just thought that probably venting this out would lessen my bad condition.

Tomorrow would be our Graduation day and I do hope do be well by that then because I don’t want to spoil it since it is a special day that marks the end of my student life and the commencement of a new career for me. Just to center on the event for tomorrow, it is so fulfilling to be able to reach that day because all hard works are paid off (both of the students and the parents). And to admit, I’m really not excited for tomorrow due to some personal reasons which are for me to keep. Oh well, it is just a half day event which will just happen in a snap and it will be over before I know it.

As I have cited that I am physically ill right now, a lot of emotions really surface within me and honestly it adds up to the tension and weakness I feel. Just a quick post for people who tend to take other people for granted. I just think that being sensitive to other people’s emotions is a very important matter to keep in mind. Even in simple ways, try to do things which you know will make that person happy. Never ever treat a person like she’s only second best and that she’s unsecured. Sometimes, when two people are together for quite some time, there’s a sudden drift that the other’s behavior towards the other changes (which hurts in a way). Try to consider her feelings with different situations and try not to lose temper no matter how impatient you are with her. Before you plan on raising your voice on her, think first of the times when all she thought of is your happiness & comfort, and the times when she has been very selfless with the various situations between you. Because how you deal with the other person reflects the way things will be in the long run. That instance will make a girl feel that she’s disrespected in a way which eventually leads to some kind of depression and that she’s less valued. If you know she’s sick, make her feel cared. If you know she’s sad, make her feel happy. If you know she’s insecure, make her feel beautiful. If you know she’s weeping, wipe her tears. If you know she’s bothered, hug her tight. If you know she’s troubled, make her feel how much you love her. Those are just SIMPLE illustrations that I know will be very much appreciated. I guess they are not complicated stipulations which are hard to comply with. And just a tip, those points would mean a lot, really. I presume this is the effect of having a really bad vigor, tending to be a lot more emotive with things. But I do know that I have some ends that I want to emphasize here. Simple ends that will definitely give solutions to dilemmas, and answers to self-kept issues. Just whatever I’ve written here are pure views and judgments that I merely intend to make clear.

It’s nearing April and we’re at the peak of the summer season. This season brings me back into a lot of memories…happy memories to be specific. But no more to expand on the details because it’s between me and my then-journal :p I must say those times were the best and it really left me with marks that I won’t forget, ever. As I am in the middle of this summer period, I can’t help but remember the then-so-happy days that I(or should I say We) had. But today’s somewhat a different one. Good and not-so-good ‘different’ may be. Good probably because I have been looking forward to a special day to come this May. I’m just glad I have yesteryear’s memories with me which are definitely worth looking back to. *sigh*

Sometimes, when we’re angry, we think that we have the permission to be cruel as well. I think it doesn’t have to go that way…for the only right we own is just to be angry because it is a feeling that we sometimes can’t escape from.

If you think a person has given you enough treatment that he/she thinks you deserve, be rational and fair. It’s nice to do things which you know for you is the “right” thing to do. But from time to time, simply do things just because you know it will make someone happy for the other does the same thing too…to think of your happiness. Never pass up a chance at adding laughter and joy to your life and to others. Well on my part, I feel great when I know that I satisfy someone. It gives me a certain feeling of contentment. In this life, every minute and every second should be considered as special because you’ll never know if it will be your last. Do not to let time pass without proving what you can still do. Try to find time with asking others things like “How has your day?”, “I have been thinking about you” or just simply “I love you”, time with spending a bit of your moment relating about the events that’s been taking place in your life lately, time with saying sorry for all the things undone and promises broken, and time with showing how much you appreciate them. All those things could seem unimportant to you, but it can mean the whole world to others. You see, I’m a person who’s not hard to please, I can be grateful for even smallest things, I can appreciate even the least efforts…and in every slightest exertion, I see something significant. That’s how I was born to grasp things, seeing what’s beyond and not only the exteriors.

In contrary with the previous statements, when a person can’t equal the kind of treatment that you give them, don’t demand for more. Just accept the things others can offer because sometimes what isn’t enough for us is already their best effort. Learn to appreciate things no matter how petty they may seem. If you think you’ve done your part, then just be stable and wait for the other to do theirs. Be hopeful in every minute and every day that you live and give them the chance to show what they still have to offer and give. It’s not that bad to expect, only, don’t keep it so high that you don’t get to accept defeat in the long run. In favor of yourself, learn to be strong and understand the consequences of your choices. As they say, one decision can change your course in life to a great extent. And if you are given the power to choose over so many options, have the assurance that you will be able to endure every ache or every hurt in all possibilities.

Enjoy what’s in the present with less complexities. As of me, I’ll just stay right the way I am and continue showing the kind of love that I’m willing to give. Basically, recognize life as a situation of extremes. Just learn how to laugh over the confusions and smile over the tears. Nobody said that life would be fair…all I know is that in the end, everything would be worth it.